The Flea Market Adventure

Written by: iyox

Posted on:03-23-2005, 11:22:22 PM

I was reading over some old TON articles and reading through one of our Flea market articles borught back some funny memories. So here is the article...Enjoy!!

The Flea market, it is a wonderful place, filled with bargains and interesting people. However it is not a place for the uninitiated. This is our story of peril and mistrust. Follows us as we narrate this tale of the underworld, the cruel underbelly of the place known as the flea market. This tale is true, while it may be hard to believe everything we are about to tell you, it took place just this past Sunday, June 2nd 2002.

Sheik and I started out this day as we would any other, by sleeping in until 2. However this day would be like no other before it, just the night before Sheik and I had discussed an excursion to the Flea market. We had planned to pick up some of the NES carts missing from are respective collections. This may seem like a mundane task, but when your main obstruction is a vile dirty man known to some as “Filthy Rich” or to most “Nintendo Man”, you are in for quite an adventure. We have had many tumultuous run-ins with him before, but no other visit has had the same impact upon our Nintendo buying abilities and general feeling for the common man. The Flea market has many types of dealers, some good most bad. Sheik and I have not been able to categorize all of them, today we will just outline the types that play an integral part of the tale. To the story………

Our day began with a drive, while driving we discussed are past successes against “Nintendo Man”. At this moment we experienced a dramatic foreshadowing event, Sheik proclaimed “We should not see “Nintendo Man”, I don’t feel like dealing with him”, I did not feel it would be a problem and encouraged an encounter, as he has the largest Nintendo collection in the area and I wanted to choose from the widest assortment possible. As we arrived we sampled the collections of the smaller vendors, these people just sell anything, from rusty tools to used condoms; of course they all have a “warranty”. At this point we passed a small farm market, run by an Amish family. They were selling buckets of potatoes for dollar. Sheik then exclaimed that he had struck it rich and would become the greatest potato farmer ever. He said we could buy a bucket of potatoes with an initial investment of a dollar and within 3 months quadruple our original expense. This would lead us to fame and fortune, and eventually more of what we desire most, hooke…Nintendo carts.

So eventually we made our way to a vendor who had a healthy supply of carts in a pasteboard box. The proprietor was snacking on several hot-dogs, the contents of which were spilling over onto his XXXXXL wife beater, of course for such a man a little spill is no reason not to consume such delectable condiments. For as he was telling us the prices of the games he lifted his shirt and revealed the most monstrous gut ever known to man, all while consuming the aforementioned spilled condiments. After he was able to speak he told us the carts were $5 a piece or two for $8. Seemingly a good deal, so Sheik picked up Short Order/Eggsplode and Gremlins 2. I debated picking up a game or two, but nothing I really wanted was in sight so we moved on.

Moving on we scoured the games from some smaller vendors, when suddenly over the horizon of the tire mounds we saw our destination, “Nintendo Man’s” lair. We had arrived unscathed, the tribal warlords of the sword stands had been avoided, and there would be no katana induced injuries this time. We breathed a sigh of relief, it was just pure Nintendo-goodness from now on. I moved over to the section covered in shit laced tarps, carefully removing them as not to be contaminated by their filth. As Sheik and I looked over the wide selection of games “Filthy” himself came over to remove the rest of the tarps. It was at this point that I saw a cart with a gapping hole about the size of my thumb. I asked “Nintendo Man” if I might buy the game for $0.25, he said no and that the game was $5 because it still played fine, and that the hole was caused by termites. Quickly we moved on, the situation was becoming tense as we poured over the collection, the heat rising from the Nintendo carts baking in the open sun was becoming intense. This is when the day’s events started to snow ball. A young boy came over with his mother looking for Track and Field and Zelda. The employee of “Nintendo Man” told the lady he did not have either, being the kind citizen I am, I pulled out several of each for her enjoyment. She and her son then decided that they would purchase SMB/DH/WTM and Zelda the guy gave her a price of $15 total, $5 for the SMB cart and $10 for Zelda. This is when sheik stepped in telling the lady that she could find Zelda for much cheaper elsewhere. At this time I was off to the side looking for some carts, Sheik then felt we should leave.

This is where the story becomes less interesting for awhile. We just looked around for some carts sheik spending money like water and I was more reserved in my expenditures. I was looking for Kirby’s Adventure and could not find it anywhere so we again wandered back to “Nintendo Man’s” stand. Sheik feeling that there might be trouble if he went back suggested against returning, but I persisted that our journey was not yet over. As we walked back one of “Nintendo Man’s” cronies came after sheik with a push cart filled to the brim with sharp objects and many heavy boxes. He maneuvered past me with such ease that his run in with Sheik could not be perceived as merely an accident. Knowing now that our foe knew of our presence this became a dire situation. The future was hard to see, the dark side clouded everything.

I went up to the counter and asked if he had Kirby’s Adventure, he quickly looked and said “$10 for this one” Not content with that price I grimaced, as if he had it planned, he then said “If you don’t like that price, maybe your friend can find it cheaper”. Knowing full what he meant Sheik retorted “As a matter of fact I think I can, but I still don’t see why that matters?” The “Nintendo Man” stunned at our insolence, chatted with the salesman from before and said “I hear you told a customer she could find a game cheaper elsewhere”. Sheik than pointed out that he was overcharging for such common games and that Zelda could be found at other vendors for $5 or less, and on E-bay, the price was usually around $2. “Nintendo Man” wounded and disgraced would not give up so easily, he insisted E-bay was a different “breed”. Knowing full well his defeat and eventual demise were at hand we then partook in a bet with him. He said for every SMB/DH and Zelda we get he would give us $5, we kindly accepted the bet.

We then ran to every stand with Nintendo carts and attempted to buy the carts, but for some odd reason they had seemingly raised there prices on those specific carts. Even “hot-dog man’s” stand, he had raised the prices on gold Zelda’s to $15 a piece, his reasoning, “they’re older or something…I don’t know”. Asking where he had heard that he pointed back to a furious “Nintendo Man”, who he had just gotten off the phone with, and “Nintendo Man” was still on the phone calling other vendors. It was a race to see who could get to the stands with the carts, we failed, but one man, he may be J.C. himself, was not turned by the dark-side. He is a kind man with a rough visage, yet a golden aura surrounded him, we went to him and asked for his gold Zelda cart and a Wisdom Tree game “King of King’s”, he said they would be$15 for both not happy with the price we felt distraught seeing our frustration and our love for the NES he said, “MY child take these games for the ripe price of $9 and go on and live happily in the land of the NES, and do not look back upon these poor, wretched souls, they only seek to destroy the happiness you have found” with those words a gentle melody rained down from the heavens like a gentle spring mist. We left that day feeling renewed, our faith in man was restored, we played and we did play, all that night and it was good.